Things Women Over 35 Shouldn’t Wear – My Top 8

women aging, aging humor, women over 35 cartoon

It’s official. This Friday I turn 35. Where did the time go?

To be clear though, I wouldn’t want to go backwards. I really do love my age and all the things that come with it….even those little wrinkles beside my eyes.

But every once in a while I have those moments where I look at my closet and think….jeez, can I still wear that? Maybe it’s because I watch far too many episodes of What Not To Wear where they flash that menacing “No mini-skirts past 35” street signs in the opening credits. But maybe not.

I’ve realized that at 35, I deserve a few things.

I deserve quality fabrics and quality clothes (not throw away fashion).

I deserve to feel stylish and wear clothes that reflect my personality (rather than the youth oriented trend of the moment)

I deserve to dress with class and  maturity – don’t need to wear T-shirts or hoodies with lame ironic statements & worn out jeans to feel young and desirable.

So…here are my TOP 8 things that I know belong in someone else’s closet now that I’m a woman edging her way towards the big 3-5:

  1. Anything from Teenybopper Stores: Bluenotes, Garage, Claire’s Accessories, Siren’s, Bootlegger, Hollister and any Junior Section of any department store (see example here). I will never look better than a 25-year-old so there’s no need to compete. I’m going to kill 35 instead.
  2. Jean Mini Skirts –  I’ll still rock a short dress with opaque tights from time to time but there’s something about a Jean Mini-skirt that just says high school. My husband agreed with me when I showed him my last jean mini-skirt hiding in my closet sometime last year. It went to GoodWill that very day.
  3. Platform Heels over 1/2 inch – I’m 5’4 and have finally realized that I’m not fooling anyone.
  4. Tube Tops & Rompers – at this point in my life I couldn’t be more certain that tube tops are for perky boobs. And if you’re over 35 and have had them ‘done’….then it’s just creepy.
  5. Anything Sheer – after 35, it’s somehow more sexy NOT to show skin.
  6. Clear Bra Straps  – There’s a certain level of class that I realized I deserve at 35. Somehow… clear bra straps don’t say ‘classy’ to me. Plus, there are way too many awesome inventions out there to fit any top I can imagine… and I can afford them. I’m 35.
  7. No Low Rise Jeans/Pants – maybe it’s because I have my fabulous post-2-pregnancies belly but that low-rise cut just isn’t flattering or comfortable anymore. And at 35, I deserve comfort.
  8. Anything Neon or with Rhinestones. I don’t need to try so hard. I’m 35 for god sake! ; )

So there are things I won’t be wearing when I turn 35. But the silver lining is that because I’m 35 I’ll be dressing better and with more confidence than ever.  I know myself, I know my personal style and I have the money to dress how I want. Somehow, I don’t see that as a loss. ; )

CHEERS to all my Ladies 35 and UP!



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